We Will Not Be Home For Christmas, Mom.

The countless Hallmark movies,

decorating the tree, 

You and this precious family.

This year is a reminder

of everything we are missing

Her

And the carols we will not be singing

The brick in our throats

When we try to go through the motions

But you will not be here.

Opening presents with picture frames of you

We cannot find the words

This is completely new.

Be gentle,

We do not even know what we are going through.

A word does not exist

For that knot in our stomach

When your name is brought up casually

Because you are not casual

You are extraordinary. 

We saved a spot for you at our dinner table

But our conversation was dull

Because of your absence

And laughter seems like a chore

You were always the one to ask the questions that mattered

You were the one to remember the details

Traditions 

They were kept because you taught us their importance

And in this season, loving others well was your primary mission.

Whether it is the gift of quality time

or lunch

or gifts

You knew everyone’s needs so personally

and that is what made you extraordinary. 

We will not be able to be home this year for Christmas, Mom.

But you already knew that

Because you are watching from paradise

We are homesick

Because you are home

And we are not

We are patiently waiting for the reuniting

You are so worth it

And missed

And we love you.

Your first Christmas in Heaven

The contradiction of this being your best Christmas 

And ours being the most excruciating

But a presence that is missed

is a presence that was well-loved

well-thought-of

well-cherished

well-lived

well-remembered.

 

2 thoughts on “We Will Not Be Home For Christmas, Mom.

  1. Don’t know how I missed this…love y’all, love her. So hope the cruise brought some much needed rest and unexpected moments of fun.

    Like

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