The countless Hallmark movies,
decorating the tree,
You and this precious family.
This year is a reminder
of everything we are missing
And the carols we will not be singing
The brick in our throats
When we try to go through the motions
But you will not be here.
Opening presents with picture frames of you
We cannot find the words
This is completely new.
We do not even know what we are going through.
A word does not exist
For that knot in our stomach
When your name is brought up casually
Because you are not casual
You are extraordinary.
We saved a spot for you at our dinner table
But our conversation was dull
Because of your absence
And laughter seems like a chore
You were always the one to ask the questions that mattered
You were the one to remember the details
They were kept because you taught us their importance
And in this season, loving others well was your primary mission.
Whether it is the gift of quality time
You knew everyone’s needs so personally
and that is what made you extraordinary.
We will not be able to be home this year for Christmas, Mom.
But you already knew that
Because you are watching from paradise
We are homesick
Because you are home
And we are not
We are patiently waiting for the reuniting
You are so worth it
And we love you.
Your first Christmas in Heaven
The contradiction of this being your best Christmas
And ours being the most excruciating
But a presence that is missed
is a presence that was well-loved